Thursday, November 06, 2008

Sweet Nothings

As touched upon in an episode of terrifyingly quirky comedy The Adam and Joe Show, all snack foods, however tasty and gratifying, are doomed. Doomed to grace the shop shelves fleetingly before being whisked away into obscurity.

Personally, I'm very angry with Revels. So angry, in fact, that we may not even be speaking any more. You may have realised, if like me you have no problem whatsoever with casually browsing the chocolate aisle reading the backs of the packets, that Revels held an "eviction"; the idea is you vote out your least favourite confection and it is then replaced with something infinitely tastier.

Spot the flaw in the plan? It's quite obvious, from the very beginning, that the coffee flavoured Revel would be the first up against the wall when the chocolately Communists came. I mean, look at the advertising campaign. Watch me and Liz on our girly-nights with a bag of Revels - chancing upon a round, smooth sweet, Liz will bite half into it, and depending on the outcome will eat the remainder or make a horrified face and begin to gag while I eat the rest of the sweet. So yes, Coffee is gone. But what have they replaced it with?

Strawberry. Quite nice, you think, until you taste it. It taste not so much like strawberry, more like the confectioner (har, har) has scraped a ball of bacon fat from under a grill with his fingernail, rolled it in sweetener, and with a tiny pipette has piped ONE DROP of strawberry juice onto it. So, from the proverbial taffy-making frying pan into the hot, hot fire of about three months of me not buying Revels.

Marathon Bar. Nestle Double Cream Bar. Taz Bars. All, faded into obscurity...

But perhaps now it is time for Liz to be the girly-night's chocolate taster.


Liz said...

hehe, I miss our girly nights soo much! strawberry??? great, i hate strawberry choclates. that eviction was pointless. Fererro rocher one would have been so much better!

(see what u are doing to me, it is 1:"4am and I am STILL up, ur blog is just too funny and interesting, lol) PLus I am mentioned a few times which is so sweet, u have not forgotten me, yay!!! miss uuuu xxx

Sprog said...

Because, of course, you make taffy in a frying pan...

I miss Trio bars.
TRIO. TREEE-EEEEE-OH. I want a Trio and I want one now!

The return of clubs would be good too.
If you like a lotta chocolate on your biscuit... Join our CLUB!

I liked adverts when I was a child, can you tell? XD

Az or Fox said...

Marathon bars still exist in the form of Snickers. One assumes that a Marathon was a participant in a horrible murder, and as such ran to Switzerland to change. So now has TITS.

Neety said...

Of course I haven't forgotten you, you daft sausage *cuddles*

Yes you make taffy in a frying pan, dur. Then you stretch it over the doorknob! Have you ever MADE taffy?!? (NB: No, neither have I.)

I remember TRIO!

Sprog said...

Update: If you read the packaging/adverts, it says they are special editions. So will likely return to the old format soon enough.

Sprog said...

Further update: after much research, I have come to the conclusion the manufacturing of taffy does not include frying pans or door knobs.

Taffy is made essentially of boiled sugar and some other bits and bobs, so infact requires a saucepan (or something of a much larger size - e.g. heated vat)

It is stretched over a hook, not a doorknob. Or in the case of large scale production, is done by a clever stretchy machine. I suppose a doorknob could work, but would not be practical, even at home. Plus it would leave you with a very messy knob *INNUENDO!*

Neety said...

OMG you anal retentive. It's no different than using a newspaper as an umbrella, you're just using an item for something other than its intended purpose!

Sprog said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sprog said...

I just wanted to prove that I was right for once XD

Plus also a frying pan would be far too shallow to make taffy in, as the suagar would be quite thinly spread and more than likely burn.