I'm going to leave a little space there, and I want you all to flex your creative muscles and fill that space with an imaginary apology from me for not updating my blog.
Har de har. Like anyone ever reads this. Ergo, my reading material (or lack of therefore) has been reduced to a used tissue (quite what it was used for I'll let you use your creative muscles on that as well).
I'm very proud of the pun in today's title and I think it best I tell you why - You know that irritating berk in the office/college/uni/toilets that won't leave you alone? The one that peppers your fraught uncomfortable conversations with such gems as;
TWAT: "Oh, there was this one guy who works with microwaves...."
ME: "You mean a chef."
TWAT: "Yeah one of those. Anyway, he died, yeah, and at the autopsy they cut him up, yeah, and all his insides were microwaved. Yeah."
Yes, him (or her). Well, no doubt this twat will also come up with the fantastic line;
TWAT: "You break your toes ten times in your life - and you don't even notice because it doesn't even hurt!"
NEWSFLASH: It does.
Yes, well done, I've broken my toe, can't go to Uni let alone walk, and I'm bloody miserable. So go on, throw the dog a bone and write me a nice poem to cheer me up. Preferably a Limerick to indulge my Irish heritage*.
Teeny - Neety neet has an owie in her feet (see? that's already half a rhyme).
*Please note the closest I have come to Irish heritage is drinking Bailey's while wearing green.