Thursday, December 12, 2013

What Your Wrapping Paper Says About You

By this point in December, most people have already assembled enough gifts to begin thinking about wrapping them (unless you buy everyone e-vouchers, in which case, your soul should be with you in 8-10 days, non-priority shipping).

We like to disguise our gifts, mostly to keep our friends and relatives from guessing what’s inside them until they snap on Christmas Eve and have an uncontrollable fondle. But did you know that your choice of wrapping says a lot about you? Read on to find out what your paper reveals about your Christmas personality. See if you can spot yourselves!

Your paper: Has owls, foxes or similar trendy hat-wearing woodland animals on it
What it says about you:
This year, your wrapping material and most of your Christmas shopping was achieved in Paperchase. Your favourite thing about Christmas is the return of the festive lattes to the coffee shops. You probably own one or all of the following: a jumper with a fox face on it, button-up mittens, a File-o-Fax.
You’ll get everyone: Copies of the novel you finished this year.
You’d love: A new laptop carry case or a Starbucks gift card.

Your paper: Remnants from last year
What it says about you:
Wow, is it really Christmas already?! You are like, so totally swamped, what with work and things and stuff and parties and socialising and that. Thank God you found this lurking in the back of the airing cupboard. It’s slightly wrinkled, but if you pull it really taut around the gifts, people won’t notice, right? Right?! 
You’ll get everyone: It doesn’t matter – as soon as it’s wrapped, you can’t remember it.
You’d love: To wake up on Christmas Eve and find the wrapping done.

Your paper: Is traditional, festooned with bows and individually tagged
What it says about you: Your house looks like Christmas prematurely came (in both senses of the phrase). You planned your gift list in October, had it all bought by the first week in December, and everything was wrapped and under the tree by the time the first carollers came a-knocking. You made a ‘wrapping playlist’.
You’ll get everyone: A festive centrepiece, home-delivered
You’d love: A personalised 2014 calendar

Your paper: is tin foil
What it says about you: You saw the Christmas episode of Gavin and Stacey and thought Smithy’s foil-wrapped gifts were hilarious/a bloody good idea. You do all of your shopping on one day, preferably within your lunch hour, in one shop. Frankly, to do it any other way would be daft.
You’ll get everyone: Pretty much the first thing you see.
You’d love: Whatever you bloody well asked for. I mean, it’s not that difficult, is it?!

Your paper: comes in three complementary patterns
What it says about you: You and your partner give out cards with yourselves in silly hats on the front. You’re hosting the Christmas party, you’ve made sure there’s a nut roast for Joshua’s vegan girlfriend, and you get everyone to take their shoes off when they enter. You made your own Gingerbread house.
You’ll get everyone: Homemade jam (it’s a touch runny, but it’s OK, you wrote “Watch out, I’m a dribbler” on the cute label)
You’d love: a mug with a cosy on it.

Your paper: was whatever Boots had near the till
What it says about you: You have all the patience of a three-year-old with a full bladder. You have five rolls of the stuff left over due to buying so much to accommodate your habit of wrapping and re-wrapping. You dread Christmas prep and bought Gluhwein in abundance to prepare yourself.
You’ll get everyone: the most awkward shaped gifts, much to your own dismay.
You’d love: to regain feeling in your taping hand.

Your paper: has ruled grids on the inside
What it says about you: This year, the person you usually get to do your wrapping snapped and told you to ‘bloody do it your lazy self’. Any kind of decision panics you. You leave wrapping until the last minute and have to sleep under scraps of it in front of the tree to intercept the early risers.
You’ll get everyone: Something they can clearly see through the gaps where it doesn’t quite meet
You’d love: Stuff in posh boxes you can keep and recycle for next year

Your paper: has a comedy slogan/cartoon characters on it
What it says about you: On Dec 1st you tweeted a picture of you wrapping up your cat. You accidentally mix your drinks, and end up wincing and pushing away your Auntie’s hand when she offers you a Christmas Day Bailey’s. You can’t enter a room without screwing up your face and bellowing “IIIIIIIIT’S CHRIIIIIIIISTMAAAAAAS!”
You’ll get everyone: Novelty gifts, such as jellybean-pooping reindeer.

You’d love: Novelty gifts, such as jellybean-pooping reindeer.